A behavior change framework that blends science, ancient wisdom, and real life

Here’s the truth about habit change no one tells you:

👉🏽 You can’t change your life by adding more things to your plate.

👉🏽 You can’t force yourself into structure when your energy is saying no.

👉🏽 You can’t create sustainable growth if your systems ignore who you are.

Most of us have tried to change something—wake up earlier, move more, eat better, write daily—and failed not because we’re undisciplined, but because the structure didn’t match our season, energy, monthly rhythm, and more.

Below is the exact framework I teach in my programs to help clients rebuild habits from the ground up—without burnout, shame, or pressure.

It blends behavioral psychology, energy medicine, Eastern cycles, and neuroscience—because we’re not machines, and I truly believe some productivity advice can be toxic.

Let’s Start Here: Habit Change Is Not Linear

You’re not the same every day.

You’re not the same every season.

So your habits shouldn’t be either.

That’s why this framework adjusts based on where you’re at emotionally, physically, and energetically—so you’re not stuck trying to meditate, run, or do cold plunges when it’s truly not the right thing to do.

This system teaches you how to choose the right habit for the right season, be it your internal one, or what's going on outside —and how to do it in a way that rewires your body, brain, and identity.

The Foundations and Techniques of Real Habit Change

The Most Important Questions:

Are You Ready? And Why?

 

1️⃣ Transtheoretical Model (Stages of Change)

The priority is having the awareness to understand: can you change a habit in the first place? Are you ready? Are you in the right mindset? Are you ready to commit?

You can’t force someone to change if they’re not ready. It’s easy to get “stuck” in each stage as well. So it’s important to have compassion towards yourself.

The five stages:

1. Precontemplation
2. Contemplation
3. Preparation
4. Action
5. Maintenance

How I use it: I always include journal prompts, mindset work meditation before suggesting a habit.

If someone’s stuck in contemplation, I guide them to notice limiting beliefs and write down what is blocking them from developing a habit. The goal isn’t to force it or jump right into it, but to approach the habit from a positive, balanced, ready space.

2️⃣ The Life Design Method

Your habits should reflect your vision, energy, and current life phase.

This is where it all comes together.

• What season are you in?
• What capacity do you have?
• What identity are you growing into?

We don’t pick habits just to be “better.”

We pick them to become the version of ourselves we’re already becoming.

Habit Change Takes Time: Can You Commit?

1️⃣ 21/90 Rule

21 days to form a habit. 90 days to integrate it into your lifestyle.

Examples:

I used to use ChatGPT, opening up a project where every day I would just record a note that described my day. Before this, I would send ChatGPT all of the habits I was working on now, and how often they needed to be repeated in a week. For example, working out 3 times a week, first I needed to do that for 21 days, and then for 90. So I would just casually tell ChatGPT about my day, and then it would pull out of the script if I worked out, and would log that for me.

Next, every day if I wanted to, and every week, I would ask ChatGPT how many of my habits I was actually able to stick to.

2️⃣ Kundalini Habit Timeline

Change takes time—and each stage serves a purpose. In Kundalini Yoga, this is the explanation of how long each habit takes to kick in.

• Day 3: You meet resistance (you’ll want to quit—expect it).
• Day 11: The habit starts to root—you feel subtle shifts.
• Day 40: The old pattern begins to break.
• Day 90: The habit stabilizes and gets easier.
• Day 120: It becomes part of your identity.
• Day 1000: It’s second nature. Embodied.

Example: I don’t start clients on 10 new routines. I choose one core habit (like morning journaling or daily movement) and commit first for 11 days and then for 40 days.

3️⃣ The Right Habit Tacking System

I love Notion, I use it for everything. So I just made a simple Notion document you can also ACCESS HERE. I would write out all of the habits I wanted to work on, and use the table below to track it every day.

Triggers, Cues, Rewards: There’s a Science to Changing Your Lifestyle

1️⃣ Hook Model (Nir Eyal)

Every habit needs a cue, an action, a reward, and an investment.

• Trigger: Reminder or environmental cue
• Action: Clear, simple behavior
• Reward: Emotional satisfaction or a tracked win
• Investment: Time, energy, or reflection that reinforces it

Examples:

1. It’s super hard to just do a one-hour-long meditation right away, or even ten minutes. Just creating an altar space where you can sit is already a step, even if your mind isn’t exactly perfectly quiet. The space you create with cushions and candles, already ready for you, will provide that environmental cue (trigger).
2. Long ago, I started lighting candles in my room when I started moving into my evening. That signals to my mind and body to start relaxing, take a shower, read, and ground. This is both a trigger and an action that is clear and simple behavior with a great reward of a beautiful environment, I feel at peace.
3. Before meditation, you can also use triggers and actions to help yourself ease into the habit, like lighting a candle and drops of essential oils in it, or lighting incense so the smell signals to the mind it’s time to move into meditation. Some other people may prefer to start with a little movement like bouncing, shaking, and letting go of things before sitting in a quiet place.

2️⃣ Fogg Behavior Model

Real change = Motivation × Ability × Prompt

Most of us try to change everything at once.

• “Start meditating every day.”
• “Work out five times a week.”
• “Journal every morning for an hour.”

But here’s the thing: If the habit is too big, and your energy is too low, you will just give up, end up resenting yourself, and spend a few more weeks doing nothing.

The Fogg model teaches us that behavior only happens when three things work together:

• You want to do it (motivation)
• You can do it (ability)
• Something reminds you to do it (prompt)

So instead of starting big, we shrink it down to something so small your brain can’t say no.

Example:

• If someone’s goal is to write again but they’re stuck in burnout, I don’t ask them to “write every morning.”
• Motivation: I ask them to get the motivation first, by doing something they love, something that calms or grounds them. For example, if they live near a park or near a river, I ask them to go for a walk there and just sit for a few minutes in nature. Usually motivation to think clearly kicks in. For others, it can be exercise or playing with their pets and kids.
• Ability: Next, I say it’s important to check in with yourself. If you’re still stressed, anxious, overthinking, or just experiencing fatigue and brain fog. Probably not the best time to write anything. But if you’re feeling quite relaxed after doing something that brings you joy, then go ahead.
• Prompt: In this case, it’s just associating nature or joy with wanting to write. And to make things even easier, I say voice record a scrappy note instead of writing on your way back from nature, your favorite activity, like going to a gym class.

3️⃣ Charles Duhigg’s Habit Loop (Cue → Routine → Reward)

Every habit needs to feel satisfying.

Start Small, Focus, Add More

1️⃣ 80/20 Rule (Pareto Principle)

20% of your actions create 80% of your results.

How I use it: I usually identify the top 1–2 “keystone” habits (like daily movement or creative time) and remove anything extra that doesn’t give a return.

Another Example: If I have a client who is doing 10 different wellness practices but feels exhausted, we identify what’s actually working—and let go of the rest.

2️⃣ Atomic Habits (James Clear)

Small wins build identity. Stack new habits onto old ones.

• Attach new actions to existing routines
• Start small and build momentum
• Track visible progress to feel the shift

How I use it: If a client already drinks tea every morning, I might have them take a few deep breaths in while the kettle is boiling to connect with their body. If someone loves to take showers in the morning, we can add energetic practices like imagining the shower water washing away all of the “garbage” or negativity we wake up with, and we can repeat a mantra that our day will be protected, light, and full of love.

3️⃣ Kaizen Method

Small, consistent steps beat intensity.

How I use it: Instead of “Write a book,” I start with “Write one paragraph.” Or I actually write in my to-do “Create an outline.” Or “Write chapter one”.

4️⃣ Hebb’s Law (Neuroscience)

Neurons that fire together, wire together.

How I use it: We schedule key habits at the same time each day.

Match Your Habits to Seasons, Circadian Rhythms, and Chronobiology

1. TCM & Ayurveda (Seasonal Energy Models)

Your habits should shift with the seasons.

• Winter: Rest, reflection, inner work
• Spring: Detox, gentle movement, ideation
• Summer: Action, energy, expression
• Fall: Letting go, editing, recalibrating

2. Circadian Rhythm & Chronobiology

Time of day matters.

• Morning: Best for focus, creation
• Afternoon: Digestive energy, maintenance tasks
• Evening: Emotional integration, reflection

3. Self-Determination Theory

Sustainable habits need autonomy, competence, and connection.

How I use it:

In my coaching work, I always let clients customize their habits.

They choose the ritual. I support their follow-through.

We track growth and celebrate together—especially in community settings or cohort programs.

Final Thoughts

You don’t need more willpower.

You need a system that honors where you are, who you are, and what season you’re in.

This is what we build in Life Design:

• Habits that evolve with you
• Cycles that hold you
• Rituals that reflect who you’re becoming

Because the goal isn’t just behavior change.

It’s building a life that finally feels like yours.