A while back, I went through a season where I was applying to roles I knew I was qualified for—and still getting rejections.

Not just one or two.

Enough that it started to wear me down.

I’d sit staring at my inbox, refreshing, waiting.

Then another “we’ve decided to move forward with another candidate.”

Some days it didn’t bother me.

Other days, it hit harder.

And slowly, without realizing it, I started thinking things like:

• “Maybe I’m just not that good.”
• “Maybe I don’t actually have the right skills.”
• “What if they saw something in me and thought, nope, not her.”

Even though I had experience.

Even though I’d succeeded in past roles.

Even though I knew the process was random.

That’s the power of rejection when it builds up.

It chips away at your self-concept, little by little.

So I started using this CBT exercise—one I had learned years ago but hadn’t practiced in a while.

I wrote it out.

Every time I had one of those spiraling thoughts, I followed the steps.

And after a while, it helped.

Not just a little—but in a deep way.

It made my thoughts more accurate.

And it gave me space to keep moving forward, without tying my worth to every outcome.

So if job rejections are messing with your confidence right now—try this.

A CBT Practice for Job Rejections and Negative Thinking

Here’s a simple Cognitive Behavioral Therapy exercise I used to break free from job search thought spirals and rebuild trust in myself.

STEP 1: Spot Your Thinking Traps

First, notice the kinds of thoughts that are coming up.

These are some of the most common “thinking traps” that keep people stuck—especially during job searches:

Overgeneralization

“A few rejections must mean I’m not good enough at anything.”

Disqualifying the Positive

“I’m only seeing the rejections and missing all the positives—like interview progress and good feedback.”

Labeling

“I’m stuck thinking, ‘I don’t have any skills,’ even though that’s not true.”

Personalization

“Rejections must mean something’s deeply wrong with me.”

STEP 2: Reframe Your Thinking

Now take that negative thought and gently shift it—without ignoring the reality of how you feel.

1. Write down your thoughts:

“I didn’t get the Product Manager offer. I’m a failure.”

2. Name the thinking traps:

This is overgeneralization and labeling. I’m calling myself a failure because of one rejection.

3. List real evidence that proves the thought wrong:

“I’ve had 10 job offers in the past. I’ve succeeded in similar roles. I’ve had positive feedback. This one result doesn’t cancel all of that.”

4. Reframe the thought:

“Missing this opportunity stings, but it doesn’t define me. I know I have skills. The right role will come.”

5. Practice the new thought:

Any time that spiral starts again, I say the new version to myself.

Out loud, if needed.

Or I write it in my journal.

I repeat it until it becomes a more natural, balanced habit.

This works.

Because your thoughts aren’t facts.

And when you shift how you speak to yourself, everything else becomes more manageable.

You stop tying your worth to every email.

You stop shrinking your confidence because of someone else’s hiring decision.

And you start trusting the bigger picture again.

It’s a process—but it’s one that’s worth doing.

Let me know if you try it.

With love,

Angelina