There’s one invisible force that drains your energy faster than anything else.

It doesn’t show up like burnout or physical fatigue. It creeps in silently—in your thoughts, your interactions, even in your well-meaning conversations with friends.

That force is fear.

And it might be costing you more than you realize.

A Story

I was talking to a friend. I was excited to share a new idea I'd been thinking about—a project I felt genuinely energized by.

But a few minutes in, the conversation shifted. She started sharing stories of others who had tried similar things and failed. She didn't mean harm. She was being cautious. Protective, even.

Still, I walked away from that meeting feeling anxious. Like something was off.

On my walk home, I realized: my energy had been completely drained. Not because she was negative, but because our conversation had activated my own fears.

Step 1: Where Fear Comes From

Fear doesn’t always look like terror. Sometimes, it shows up as:

• Self-doubt

• Procrastination

• Avoidance

• Overthinking

It comes from two places:

1. Internal Fear

The voice in your head that says:

• "Don’t bother, it won’t work."

• "What if you fail?"

• "You’re not ready yet."

It’s the tightness you feel before recording a video or giving a presentation. It’s the spiral of what-ifs that leaves you frozen.

Left unchecked, internal fear simmers in your mind like a pot slowly boiling—until it consumes all your energy and motivation.

2. External Fear

The world around us is loud with fear:

• News cycles

• Workplace cultures are obsessed with risk mitigation

• Family members projecting their anxieties

You might wake up and scroll through Instagram or Google News and already feel like the world is collapsing. You haven’t even had your coffee yet.

Fear is baked into how we talk, lead, and even love. And it takes a toll.

Step 2: Why Fear Shows Up

Understanding fear means asking why it's showing up in the first place.

Fear usually comes from:

1. The Past

Maybe you:

• Got laid off recently

• Tried something new that didn’t work

• Shared an idea and felt dismissed

Our past failures leave residue. And they whisper, "What if it happens again?"

But here’s the thing: failure doesn’t mean it will repeat. Your mindset can shape what happens next. Resilience comes from honoring the lesson, not avoiding the leap.

2. The Future

Sometimes, fear isn’t about failure. It’s about expectations that feel too big.

Maybe you:

• Have a dream that feels "unrealistic"

• Don’t have a plan yet, but know you want more

• Feel pressure from others who don’t "get it"

When our dreams feel too far away or too grand, fear sneaks in and says, "Why even try?"

But that voice isn’t the truth. It’s protection. And you don’t have to obey it.

Step 3: What to Do About It

Fear can’t be completely removed. But it can be transformed.

Here’s a two-part method I use, drawn from both mind and heart:

1. Calm the Mind

Ask:

• What am I actually afraid of?

• What’s the worst-case scenario?

• Is it survivable?

Often, naming the fear shrinks it.

Then, I list the risks and write down how I’d mitigate them. It’s something I learned as a Product Manager. No launch is without risk, but thinking through the worst-case helps us move forward anyway.

Most of the time, the risk doesn’t even happen. But the clarity gives your brain permission to relax.

2. Open the Heart

Fear isn’t just logical. It’s emotional.

So I ask:

• Can I show compassion to the part of me that’s afraid?

• If someone else projected this fear onto me, do I believe it?

Sometimes, this means holding space for myself. Letting myself cry. Letting the fear be heard.

And then asking: Is what I’m afraid of actually aligned with my joy? My purpose?

That answer often holds more wisdom than the fear itself.

Final Thoughts

Fear drains energy because it pulls you into survival mode. But you can shift out of that mode.

By:

• Naming the source (internal or external)

• Identifying the root (past failure or future pressure)

• Responding with both your head and your heart

You don’t need to fight fear. You just need to understand it.

And once you do, it loses its power over you.