When I first got into Product, I misunderstood the role completely.

I thought being a Product Manager meant I’d be in charge.

That I’d be the one calling the shots.

That I’d get to make every decision.

I came from the world of startups—where I built things from scratch.

Where I had control. Where I was used to being the final say.

So I believed the hype: “PMs are mini-CEOs.”

But that’s not how it works.

As a PM, you have responsibility—but no formal authority.

You’re expected to lead—but you don’t have a team reporting to you.

You’re held accountable for outcomes—but can’t directly control most of the inputs.

So, how do you actually get things done?

You influence.

What You Think You’ll Do vs. What You Actually Need to Do

Most people think the PM job is about vision and direction.

But in practice, it’s about clarity, listening, tradeoffs, and trust.

You don’t get to boss anyone around.

You don’t get to push your ideas through just because you believe in them.

You don’t get to lead by title.

You lead by how well you understand the problem.

How clearly you communicate.

How much your team trusts you’ve thought it through.

Here’s What You Can’t Do as a PM—and What Works Instead

• You can’t make people listen to you → You need to earn trust. Know the product better than anyone. Know the users. Know the market. Do your research and build credibility through consistency.
• You can’t make people do what you want → You need to explain why it matters. Help people understand the impact—on users, on the business, on their own work.
• You can’t drop last-minute work on teams → You need to plan well and prioritize clearly. Show what’s most important, what can wait, and what’s not worth doing.
• You don’t get to make every decision → You gather input and make calls with context. Listen to your engineers, your designers, your partners. Weigh the options. Share the reasoning.
• You can’t take it personally → It’s not about you. It’s about what’s best for the customer, the team, and the product.

How People Decide to Work With You

People don’t follow PMs because of their role.

They follow because they trust your judgment.

Because they know you care about the outcome, not just your ego.

Because you listen.

Because you make it make sense.

People move forward with you when:

👉🏽 They know it’s the right thing to do

👉🏽 They believe it helps the customer

👉🏽 They understand the tradeoffs

👉🏽 They feel respected

👉🏽 They feel like their voice was considered

👉🏽 They’re not just being told—they’re part of it

How to Build Real Influence

This takes time. You don’t get it on day one.

But it compounds—if you do it right.

• Get credibility fast
  • Know your stuff. Don’t be the person who shows up with vague ideas. Come with context.
• Build real relationships
  • Don’t just “manage stakeholders.” Get to know people. Understand what they care about.
• Let go of credit
  • When things go well, you don’t need to be the one who gets recognized. Focus on the result.
• Write things down
  • Use docs to get everyone on the same page. Good writing clears up so much confusion.
• Make decisions clearly
  • Don’t waffle. Don’t disappear. Show people how the decision was made and why.
• Know when to push and when to listen
  • Not everything needs to happen. Not every fight is worth it. Focus on what matters most.

Being a PM isn’t about control.

It’s about being clear, thoughtful, prepared, and steady.

You’re not there to be the smartest person in the room.

You’re there to help the smartest people work together to build something great.