There’s a specific kind of guilt that comes when you walk away from something that looks perfect on paper.

The dream job.

The school you worked so hard to get into.

The opportunity everyone else would kill for.

And yet—something inside you says, this isn’t it.

I remember when I got the offer to join BetterUp as a Product Manager focused on AI.

On paper, it was everything I had been manifesting for years: a way to merge my experience in tech and AI with my passion for wellness and human development.

A bridge between the old and the new. Between product and purpose.

At the same time, I had also gotten into CIIS for a Masters in Counseling. And I was midway through an online Traditional Chinese Medicine degree.

I was splitting my time between Airbnbs in Toronto, still recovering from a breakup, with no real home or stability.

Something had to give.

The Pattern of Saying Yes (To Everything)

For a long time, I thought I had to do it all at once. Say yes to every opportunity.

Hold every door open, even when the wind was blowing through and I was freezing inside.

But I’ve learned—saying yes to everything is sometimes just another way of saying no to yourself.

When I asked CIIS if I could delay the start by a few weeks so I could focus on the BetterUp job, they said no. The tone felt rigid.

My gut was like: If this is how they treat flexibility before school starts, how will they treat it once I’m enrolled?

So I made the first adult decision in a long time. I said no. Even though it hurt.

Maybe I’m Not Flaky—Maybe I’m Finally Listening

Sometimes I spiral: Am I someone who just gets opportunities and can’t hold them?

But I don’t think that’s the real story.

The real story is: I’ve changed. My priorities have changed. And I no longer want to force myself to pursue something just because it once sounded good.

Saying no to CIIS wasn’t failure—it was clarity.

And yet, I still catch myself wondering:

👉🏽 Should I go back to school?

👉🏽 Should I pursue therapy, or just keep coaching?

👉🏽 Should I integrate spirituality and psychology through a degree—or through lived practice and direct service?

Coaching, But Not Really

Here’s the truth: I’ve never been trained in coaching.

But I coach.

Actually, what I do isn’t even coaching. It’s a mix of channeling, intuition, energy work, and clarity straight-shooting. I listen. I reflect. I name the thing under the thing. And I tell people the truth they already know—but forgot how to hear.

So when I look at therapy programs, I start to wonder: Is this even the path for me? Or am I trying to fit into a model I was never meant to follow?

Exercises for Decision-Making When You’re at a Crossroads

1. It’s not just about Pros/Cons lists

Here are some questions to ask:

• How does it feel when you imagine doing that thing for 3 years straight?
  • In my CIIS example, do I see myself studying this for 3 years, and then doing therapy for 10 years straight?
• Are you choosing it from pressure to be perfect, to be everything or truly from a place of peace and joy?
  • In my example, do I really need to do three things at a time, or can I sequence or choose later?
• Is this truly a desire your current self wants to live out, or something your past self wanted and you’re still attached to? Sometimes whew energetically attach to past ideas that no longer serve our new self and chat?
• Can you do everything you want by sequencing one thing at a time?
• Does this support the life that I want?

2. The “Yes/No” Body Scan

Sit in silence and say each option out loud:

“I choose to do X.”

“I choose not to do X.”

Watch your body’s reaction. Notice the breath. The chest. The gut.

Does it constrict or expand?

3. The 3-Year Letter

Write a letter from your future self—3 years from now—looking back.

👉🏽 What choice did you make?

👉🏽 What did you gain?

👉🏽 What did you learn?

👉🏽 What did you let go of?

4. The Quiet Knowing

Ask: If no one else had an opinion on this, what would I choose?