This morning, my friend told me a story about her elderly mom.

It started as something small—her mom had asked her to pick something up from a store, but couldn’t remember the name.

No matter how many questions my friend and her daughter asked, the answer stayed scattered. Clues, but no clarity.

Her daughter, just 11, treated it like a game.

My friend? She felt pressure. Responsibility. The burden of needing to “get it right.”

The really high expectations.

Until she decided…she will break this pattern.

That hit me.

Because I’ve been thinking about the same thing.

The way something simple can feel so heavy—just because of the way we hold it.

That an unanswered question can torment us forever, until we find an answer — reach some kind of end or result. That we may never find.

Every day, I sit with my thoughts making something simple, that should be treated lightly like a game or experiment, into something so burdensome.

And my mind does that.

1. If a friend is upset → ruminating why, and how I must help them
2. If a conversation went sour → staying on my mind for longer than it should, when in reality all is fine
3. The next blog posts I write or project I take up → there’s an expectation it becomes my worth

She asked if I felt the same.

Yes…

We realized we both…

Lived in the tension.

The urgency to deliver, even when the request is unclear.

In the old belief that if I don’t get it right, I’ve failed.

Focused on the results, not the journey

But maybe it’s not about getting it right.

Maybe it’s about creating a new protocol like my friend did with her mom—a new way of relating.

One that makes room for uncertainty, for imperfection, for the humanness in all of us.

A new way of being that lets go of expectations, and focuses more on the journey than the results.

Lesson One: Pressure Has Nothing to Do With Reality

I’ve been writing a lot in Peru—more than I have in a long time.

And this place has been teaching me to look at the shadows I didn’t want to face.

One of the biggest lessons?

The pressure I put on myself. For everything.

Even when it’s not life or death. Even when I know it’s not that serious.

I noticed it again the other day. I was working on something small—truly, something no one else would care about—and suddenly, I was flooded with urgency. Anxiety.

As if the world was going to fall apart if I didn’t “figure it out.”

But sometimes, like my friend said, you just don’t have the right information yet.

Maybe it’s not the right time.

Or one step will open doors to something new.

And that doesn’t mean you’re failing.

It means you need to try…learn…continue with new information.

Lesson Two: Identity Shifts Sneak Up on You

At some point during our chat, we both realized—we keep circling the same pattern:

➡️ Perfectionism.

➡️ High expectations.

➡️ Leading to burnout…

➡️ Then identity loss.

The grief of realizing your job, your success, your family role… wasn’t actually you.

And the wild search to remember who you were before you got lost in a specific identity.

For my friend, it happened after becoming a mom. Her identity dissolved into caregiving and her corporate role.

For me, it came after I left Meta. I kept saying, Who am I without a job title? Without a salary? Without someone else telling me I’m good enough?

And I’ve seen it in others, too—especially the 13 to 25-year-olds. They’re entering a world where nothing is stable. Not careers. Not housing. No expectations. And they’re trying to find themselves without a roadmap.

That’s part of why I built the Sage Method. To offer a new map. A new way of holding yourself through transition.

Lesson Three: Shared is Better then Perfect

At one point, I found myself spiraling again.

Why launch this idea? There are already a hundred coaches, a thousand apps, a million spiritual guides.

But my friend looked at me and said something that stopped me:

“People are doing it because there’s a need. Not because they’re better. Or because they figured it out. Because it matters. And people need it."

I remembered:

• The products I built in tech weren’t perfect but still brought value.
• The 2 million-dollar coaching AI product that I worked on. It wasn’t flawless, but someone decided to put it out there anyway and evolve on research along the way.
• The company I started when I was 22, was far from perfect — but we launched it anyway, got a few fan-clients that loved our mission, and kept going.

**Funny enough…**we thought about vegetables….

• The perfect vegetables at WholeFoods
• And the imperfect vegetables that are also advertised

So…

Even imperfect vegetables have a place in the world. They are funky-looking but still full of nutrients.

Maybe they are even better than the perfect vegetables because they are not full of pesticides.

So…

Done is better than perfect. Shared is better than hoarded.

Lesson Four: Lightness Is a Choice

We ended our conversation laughing. Talking about how even now, with all our awareness healing, and training, we still get stuck in perfectionism.

Still, overthink.

Still doubt ourselves.

But my friend reminded me: you can shift the story.

✅ From pressure to play.

✅ From performance to presence.

✅ From fear to freedom.

She asked me what all my ideas looked like.

• Were they in a box?
• A colorful Peruvian cloth?
• Something I carried with joy or with weight?

It’s such a beautiful metaphor.

Because how we carry our gifts matters just as much as what they are.

Lesson Five: What If It’s All Just a Game?

Lately, I’ve been sitting with this one question:

What if this is all just a game?

Not in a dismissive way. Not in a way that makes life meaningless. But in a way that makes it lighter.

Because when I stop treating every decision like it has to be perfect… when I stop holding every idea like it’s my one shot at proving my worth… I can breathe again.

I can play.

And when I treat life like a game, I move differently. I test things. I try ideas. I create without overthinking. I help people without wondering if I’m “qualified enough.” I trust the process more. I let go of needing to know the outcome before I begin.

It was during Wachuma ceremonies, while hiking through the Andes, that I first felt the deep truth: we’re taking life too seriously. Wachuma softened the edges of my thinking. It helped me release control and return to play, presence, and a kind of spiritual curiosity I had long forgotten.

Wachuma, also known as San Pedro, is a sacred cactus medicine native to the Andes and used for thousands of years in traditional Andean healing ceremonies. It contains mescaline, a natural psychedelic that opens the heart, heightens perception, and deepens spiritual connection. Wachuma is often guided by experienced healers, or curanderos, in nature-based ceremonies that emphasize reflection, reverence, and communion with Pachamama—Mother Earth. Unlike more intense plant medicines, Wachuma offers a gentle, expansive experience that often brings clarity, emotional release, and a renewed sense of purpose.

Games aren’t about perfection. They’re about experimenting. Moving forward. Trying again.

That’s what I want now.

More curiosity, less pressure.

More play, less proving.

More joy, less judgment.

Because life isn’t an exam. It’s not a performance. It’s not something to “get right.”

It’s a game. A sacred one. And you get to make your own rules.