A clear, compassionate guide to help you show up with presence, clarity, and confidence

Performance reviews don’t have to be scary.

They don’t have to feel like Judgment Day.

When approached with intention and ownership, they can become portals for growth, deeper alignment, and even your next big opportunity.

But most of us aren’t taught how to prepare for them well.

We procrastinate, spin in self-doubt, or overwork ourselves trying to prove our worth.

This lesson is about giving you structure, language, and space to step into performance reviews with clarity—not fear.

PART 1 – Start with Emotional Awareness

Let’s name the emotional reality:

• Performance reviews can be nerve-wracking.
• You may feel vulnerable, anxious, or under pressure.
• If you’re from a background where validation was rare, or performance = love, this may feel especially tender.

I used to procrastinate on mine too—until I realized the review itself wasn’t the problem.

It was the absence of a plan, a practice, and a sense of agency.

So before you even begin preparing your talking points, pause and check in:

• How am I feeling about this process?
• What stories am I telling myself (e.g., “I haven’t done enough” or “They’re not seeing me”)?
• Where am I shrinking or over-functioning—and what would grounded preparation look like?

✏️ Write it down.

Name it, claim it, release it.

PART 2 – Understand What You’re Being Evaluated On

The first step to preparation is clarity.

You can’t hit a target you haven’t defined.

Whether you’re in a structured org or a looser team setup, you want to know:

• What are the formal or informal expectations for your role?
• Are there KPIs, OKRs, or success metrics? If not—can you define your own?
• What do your manager and team actually value day-to-day? (Hint: It’s not always what’s in the job description.)

Ask your manager or team lead:

• What are the most important outcomes for our team right now?
• How does my work directly contribute to those goals?
• Are there specific behaviors, mindsets, or milestones that signal strong performance?

➡️ This helps you speak in their language, not just your own.

PART 3 – Align with Strategic Goals

Your day-to-day might be full of tasks, meetings, and micro-decisions.

But promotions and recognition are often based on strategic alignment.

Ask yourself:

• What is the organization trying to achieve this quarter/year?
• What challenges are we navigating as a team or business?
• How has my work contributed to solving real problems—not just staying busy?

Reflect:

• What projects or moments felt most impactful this cycle?
• What ripple effects did my work create (for the team, user, business, or culture)?

➡️ This helps your review speak to outcomes, not just activity.

PART 4 – Build a Promotion or Growth Framework

If you want to grow in your role—or move up—don’t wait for someone else to lay the path.

Create a personalized framework:

• Define what the next level looks like (title, scope, impact, energy)
• Break it into measurable milestones (e.g., leading a project, mentoring, launching something new, contributing to a strategic plan)
• Share this with your manager in a 1:1 and ask: “Can we co-create a path together? What would need to be true for me to reach this in the next cycle?”

➡️ This shows vision, initiative, and partnership.

➡️ It also gives your manager a clear lens through which to support and advocate for you.

PART 5 – Maintain Regular Check-ins (Not Just Review Season)

If the only time you talk about your performance is during a review, it’s already too late.

Set up regular rhythms:

• Monthly or bi-weekly check-ins to review goals, feedback, blockers, and wins
• A shared doc where you and your manager can track progress
• End-of-week notes you can use later to build your self-review

Use these check-ins to:

• Clarify expectations
• Get course corrections early
• Share wins and lessons learned
• Advocate for what you want more of (scope, autonomy, support)

PART 6 – Learn to Prioritize What Matters (And Say No to What Doesn’t)

Your calendar might be full. Your to-do list might be endless.

But performance isn’t just about doing more—it’s about doing what matters most.

Ask:

• What activities directly contribute to the goals we just named?
• What is taking energy or time but producing little value?
• What could I delegate, automate, or let go of?

➡️ This is especially important in unstructured or startup environments.

If you’re constantly pulled into urgent-but-not-important tasks, your long-term impact suffers.

Talk to your manager about this.

Say:

“I want to make sure I’m focusing on the most strategic work. Can we revisit priorities together?”

PART 7 – Ask for Support When Needed

If you’re underwater or overwhelmed, it’s okay to ask for help.

This is not failure. It’s leadership.

Let your manager know:

• When you’re at capacity
• What’s blocking your progress
• What decisions do you need support with

You’re not just managing your performance—you’re managing your energy.

That’s sustainability. And that’s what sets up long-term success.

PART 8 – Cultivate Allies Across the Org

Peer feedback matters—formally and informally.

Identify a few trusted collaborators across functions and ask:

• “What’s one thing I do well that I may not see myself?”
• “Where do you think I could grow next?”
• “Have you seen me improve in any areas this past cycle?”

These relationships also create a support net if your manager is unavailable or unclear.

And when review season comes, you’ll have multiple lenses reflecting your impact—not just one.

PART 9 – Master Your Self-Review (Covered in a Separate Lesson)

Writing your self-review can feel overwhelming.

But it’s one of the most powerful tools you have to:

• Tell your story
• Name your impact
• Reflect your values
• Invite new opportunities

We’ll walk through that in the next video.

But for now, start keeping a running doc of:

• Wins (small and large)
• Feedback (peer, manager, user, customer)
• Lessons learned
• Experiments tried
• Moments that stretched you

You’ll thank yourself later.

Reflection Prompts:

• What’s the story I want to tell in this review cycle?
• Where have I grown—not just in results, but in mindset or behavior?
• What would it look like to prepare from a place of self-respect, not self-doubt?
• What feels emotionally charged for me around performance—and what do I need to name, release, or rewrite?

Somatic Check-In: Ground Before the Review

Before your performance conversation:

• Stand or sit tall. Feel your feet.
• Breathe into your belly.
• Place one hand on your chest and one on your stomach.
• Say to yourself: “I am grounded. I am enough. I am open to feedback and anchored in truth.”

This is how you bring your full self—not just your résumé—to the table.