How to rebuild self-trust, reclaim your voice, and navigate life without losing yourself

You’re not lacking confidence.

You’re not lazy.

You’re not behind.

But something still feels off.

You have the drive. You’ve always had the spark.

But the more you show up in the world, the more disconnected you feel—like you’re either too much or not enough.

You doubt your power. You don’t say what you need.

And when you do, it either explodes—or it doesn’t come out at all.

You’re not broken.

You’ve just never been given the power map for how to move through the world in your body, your voice, your energy.

Especially when you were raised outside systems that could model it for you.

A Story I Haven’t Told Enough

I remember being 24, newly hired into a prestigious role at Shopify. On paper, it was everything I had worked for—product strategy, innovation, tech leadership. But I often found myself shrinking in meetings, replaying conversations in my head, or questioning whether I belonged at the table. I watched others speak with certainty—even when they didn’t have all the answers—and I wondered why I couldn’t do the same.

It wasn’t that I lacked intelligence or ambition. It was that no one ever taught me how to own my power. I was raised to keep my head down, work hard, and wait to be noticed.

But in these spaces, power didn’t work that way. And no one handed me a map.

You Swung Too Far From Yourself—Now It’s Time to Come Back

At some point, you were connected to your fire.

Your creativity. Your power.

But without the political or cultural guidance to help you navigate the world—especially in workspaces—you get “dinged” over and over again.

So you did what many of us do...

You swung the pendulum the other way.

You dimmed. You hesitated. You played it safe. You got quiet.

You started doubting yourself—even when that self was right.

And now, you’re finding your way back to the center.

Not the old version of you. Not the overcompensated one either.

But a more integrated you—with new tools, language, and inner leadership.

We All Have an Inner Theater—But Who’s Holding the Mic?

Inside you live a cast of characters.

There’s the confident one.

The doubter.

The pleaser.

The overachiever.

The one who’s afraid to be disliked.

The one who wants to take up space.

And what’s likely happening now is:

One of those characters—maybe a fearful or protective part—has taken over the spotlight.

It’s not that your confidence is gone.

It’s just backstage.

Your job isn’t to “kill off” the part that’s speaking now.

It’s to get curious. To coach it. To say:

“Hey—I see you. But you don’t get to run the show anymore.”

Try This: Dialogue With Your Inner Theater

• Name three parts of you that show up most often when you’re anxious, insecure, or overwhelmed.
• What age do they feel like? How do they talk? What do they want to protect you from?

➡️ Then write or speak from your Self with a capital S—the grounded, wise, unshakable part of you.

➡️ Let her say:

“You’re not wrong for being here. But I’ve got this now.”

You Don’t Just Need Confidence—You Need Power Literacy

No one ever taught you how power works in modern environments.

Especially if you were raised by people from a different country, generation, or set of values.

📌 You may have been taught:

• Work hard = get rewarded
• Be nice = get chosen
• Keep your head down = stay safe

📌 But the modern world runs on different dynamics—ones that require a mix of:

• Personal power (your truth, your creativity, your voice)
• Positional power (your title, your responsibilities)
• Relational power (your influence in a space)
• Political power (how systems actually work)

If you don’t understand these kinds of power, you’ll keep feeling lost—even when you’re qualified, brilliant, and capable.

You’re not weak.

You’re just playing a game no one taught you the rules for.

Try This: Begin Noticing Power in the Room

In your next meeting, conversation, or social gathering:

• Who seems to hold power in the room?
• What kind of power is it—status? expertise? emotional tone? charisma?
• Where do you give your power away—or assume you have none?

Don’t judge it. Just notice.

Awareness is the first portal back to sovereignty.

You Don’t Know How to Ask for What You Need Without Guilt

You’re great at listening. Supporting. Reading the room.

But when it comes time to say, “Hey, this doesn’t work for me”—your throat closes.

📌 You either:

• Say nothing and stew in resentment
• Or explode after holding it in for too long

Why? Because asking for what you need feels unsafe.

You don’t want to inconvenience anyone. You don’t want to be rude.

You’ve been conditioned to choose peace over presence.

You’re not bad at communication—you’re just carrying generational and cultural programming that taught you it’s dangerous to speak up.

Try This: Practice Low-Stakes Boundaries

Start by setting boundaries in small, everyday situations:

• “Actually, I’d love to have this conversation later when I can be more present.”
• “I bought groceries last time—can you take the next round?”
• “I need 30 minutes alone to reset.”

Say it gently. Clearly. Without overexplaining.

Then notice how it feels in your body—and where the guilt shows up.

That guilt isn’t the truth.

It’s training.

And it can be unlearned.

There’s No Shame in Not Knowing the Rules

You were raised in a different world—with different values, structures, and expectations.

Maybe your caregivers didn’t speak the language.

Maybe they couldn’t model confidence, boundaries, or emotional nuance.

So you’re learning all of this on your own, in real-time.

That’s not failure.

That’s courage.

You’re building a power map you were never handed.

And that’s sacred work.

Final Reflection:

Where do you need to reclaim your power right now?

What conversations are asking for your voice, your truth, your presence?

Power doesn’t have to be loud.

It doesn’t have to be forceful.

Sometimes, it’s simply choosing to return to yourself.