A few years ago, I sat in my apartment after an exhausting day at Meta, staring blankly at my laptop screen.

My mind was racing with the usual pressures—meeting aggressive product deadlines, proving my worth in a hypercompetitive environment, and managing the constant Slack messages demanding my attention.

I had worked hard to get here.

This was supposed to be the dream—a prestigious role, an impressive company, and the feeling of “making an impact.”

But instead, I felt something different: anxiety, exhaustion, and a strange sense of emptiness.

That night, I realized something profound.

It wasn’t the work itself that was breaking me—it was how I was responding to stress.

In tech, the culture pushes you to “move fast and break things,” but no one tells you that sometimes, the thing that breaks is you.

I had been suppressing my emotions, telling myself to power through, to push harder.

But in reality, I had no tools to regulate the waves of pressure and self-doubt that came with high-performance environments.

This was the moment I started actively learning how to work with emotions instead of being consumed by them.

I dove deep into psychology, neuroscience, and Eastern philosophy—Buddhism, Taoism, Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), and Ayurveda.

I studied how emotions manifest in the body, how trauma gets stored in our nervous system, and how different cultures have developed tools for emotional resilience.

And the biggest lesson? Emotions are not problems to be fixed. They are signals to be understood.

This post is about the strategies that helped me—and that I now use daily—to navigate difficult emotions with clarity, self-awareness, and balance.

1️⃣ Create Space Between Emotion & Reaction

🔸 Why It Works:

When faced with stress, the amygdala, our brain’s emotional processing center, triggers an immediate fight-or-flight response. However, studies by Dr. Richard Davidson (University of Wisconsin) show that mindfulness strengthens the prefrontal cortex, allowing us to pause before reacting.

Eastern Insight: Taoism teaches Wu Wei (effortless action)—the art of responding without force. Rather than reacting impulsively, we can observe our emotions as they arise, creating space between what we feel and what we do.

✅ Try This: When triggered, take three deep breaths before responding. Ask yourself: Is this reaction serving my long-term well-being?

2️⃣ Name the Emotion to Reduce Its Power

🔸 Why It Works:

Research by Dr. Matthew Lieberman (UCLA) found that naming emotions reduces amygdala activity and increases rational thinking. In other words, labeling your feelings—“I am feeling anxious” instead of “I am anxious”—helps you detach from them.

Eastern Insight: In Zen Buddhism, detachment isn’t about suppression—it’s about seeing emotions with curiosity rather than attachment. By naming an emotion, we observe it rather than become consumed by it.

✅ Try This: Write down emotions as they arise. Instead of saying, “I am angry,” reframe it as, “I am experiencing anger.” Notice how this small shift gives you a sense of control.

3️⃣ Choose Who You Share Emotions With Wisely

🔸 Why It Works:

Emotions are contagious—a phenomenon explained by social contagion theory. Surrounding yourself with highly reactive people can escalate stress, while speaking with emotionally grounded individuals fosters clarity and balance.

Eastern Insight: Ancient Eastern traditions emphasize sangha (spiritual community)—the idea that your environment directly influences your mental state. In Ayurveda, imbalanced Vata energy (air element) thrives on chaos, while grounding forces (supportive relationships, stability) bring harmony.

✅ Try This: Be intentional about who you turn to in emotional moments. Share concerns with calm, supportive people—mentors, coaches, or friends who help you process rather than amplify distress.

4️⃣ Gain Perspective Through Emotional Distance

🔸 Why It Works:

Research by Dr. James Gross (Stanford University) highlights the power of cognitive reappraisal—seeing situations from a different angle reduces emotional distress.

Eastern Insight: In Buddhism, emotions are viewed like passing waves in the ocean—impermanent and ever-changing. The more we resist them, the stronger they become.

✅ Try This:

• When overwhelmed, visualize yourself as an observer rather than a participant.
• Ask: “If I were advising a friend in this situation, what perspective would I offer?”
• Remind yourself: This feeling will pass, like a wave dissolving into the ocean.

5️⃣ Shift to a Long-Term Perspective

🔸 Why It Works:

Dr. George Bonanno, a resilience researcher, found that people who ask themselves, “Will this matter in five years?” experience lower stress and greater emotional recovery.

Eastern Insight: In Taoism, problems arise when we resist the natural flow of life. If we zoom out, we realize that most challenges are temporary fluctuations, not permanent realities.

✅ Try This:

• The next time you’re stressed, ask: “Will this define my life, or is this just a passing difficulty?”
• Reframe problems as part of a larger unfolding journey.

6️⃣ Shift Focus to Helping Others

🔸 Why It Works:

Studies by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky (University of California, Riverside) show that acts of kindness increase dopamine and serotonin, boosting mood and resilience.

Eastern Insight: Karma Yoga (selfless service) in Hinduism teaches that helping others dissolves our own suffering. In Buddhism, Metta (loving-kindness meditation) cultivates inner peace by focusing on the well-being of others.

✅ Try This:

• Volunteer, mentor, or support a friend in need.
• Engage in small acts of kindness (checking in on a colleague, writing a gratitude letter).
• Notice how shifting focus outward alleviates internal stress.

7️⃣ Practice Gratitude as a Resilience Tool

🔸 Why It Works:

Research by Dr. Robert Emmons (UC Davis) found that gratitude practices lower cortisol, increase emotional resilience, and enhance overall well-being.

Eastern Insight: The Japanese practice of Naikan reflection involves contemplating:

✨ What have I received today?

✨ What have I given?

✨ What difficulties have I overcome?

This introspection fosters resilience and emotional stability.

✅ Try This:

• Before bed, list three things you’re grateful for (no matter how small).
• Reframe setbacks: Instead of “I lost an opportunity,” try “I gained experience and clarity.”

Final Thoughts: Mastering Emotions is a Lifelong Practice

Emotional intelligence isn’t about suppressing emotions—it’s about understanding, regulating, and flowing with them.