✨ Not Listening to You? Here’s What to Do.
Nov 25, 2025
Here’s what’s helped me navigate people who don’t want to collaborate.
Not listening to you?
Ok, that doesn’t feel good at all.
I’ve been there—exactly in the same place—where you’re trying to work with someone, and they just refuse to meet you halfway.
Maybe they’re constantly saying “no,”
Or rejecting your ideas,
Or just being difficult for the sake of it.
It can feel so frustrating—like you’re banging your head against the wall,
And all you want is for work to flow.
If you’re dealing with this right now, here are four things I’ve learned over the years—
Not from books, but from actual lived experience:
As a founder, a PM at early-stage startups, Shopify, Meta… everywhere.
This happens on every team. And there are ways to make it easier.
1️⃣ Reframe your mind.
Yes, I know… some people just suck.
But most people? They’re not trying to be difficult on purpose.
They might be:
- Completely burnt out
- Stressed by their boss
- Chasing a promotion
- Managing life outside of work
- Or just… not doing well
Sometimes what feels like conflict is just someone being overwhelmed.
Start from that place.
Instead of asking, “Why are they being like this?”
Ask:
“What might be going on for them right now?”
Reframing how you see them can change how you respond—and that shift in energy matters.
2️⃣ Don’t push back, even if you’re right.
A push will only lead to another push.
I’ve had to learn this the hard way—because I’m a talker.
I want to respond. I want to explain. I want to fix it.
But honestly? The best thing you can do in those moments is to listen.
Just hear them out.
Even if they’re wrong. Even if it’s frustrating.
Because people don’t usually blame themselves.
And the more you push, the more defensive they get.
So pause. Let them speak.
And don’t match the energy—reset it.
3️⃣ Try asking a “Why?” question.
When someone says:
- “I don’t want to do this.”
- “This isn’t important.”
- “You’re wrong in your approach.”
Instead of shutting down or getting annoyed, just pause.
Take a breath. Gather your thoughts.
Then ask:
“Why don’t you want to do this?”
And if they say, “because it’s not important,”
Follow up with:
“Why isn’t it important to you?”
And eventually:
“What would you consider impact—and how can I help you with that goal?”
This shifts the conversation.
Instead of fighting their resistance, you’re understanding it—and working with it.
4️⃣ Get to know people as people.
This one feels counterintuitive, especially when you’re dreading talking to someone.
But when collaboration is low, it’s actually the perfect time to try this.
Even if they’re the last person you want to talk to, try asking yourself:
“What if they were my friend? My aunt? My cousin?”
How would you speak to them then?
You don’t need to fake small talk—just be human.
- Ask them how their weekend was.
- Ask what they’re working on that’s exciting or hard.
- Or even ask for their advice on something specific they know a lot about.
That shows them you value their opinion.
And once people feel respected—they’re way more likely to respect you back.
Final Thought
Work gets so much easier when you learn how to manage energy, not just tasks.
And difficult people? They’re part of every job.
But if you start seeing them as human, get curious instead of reactive, and ground yourself before reacting—things shift.
You don’t have to become best friends.
You just need to find some ground to stand on together.
Welcome to Ambition Redesigned! Where purpose meets progress.
Get one actionable tip delivered to your inbox every Monday.
